Don't Cry Anymore
by Blue Asakura
Summary: I realized that you have been crying all this time...


**Note: I write this after reading the chapter 46 of 3D Kanojo's manga written by Mao Nanami and I gave all the credits to her work. Most of the dialogues here are from taken the manga. You can criticized me all you want and that would be very helpful. Especially my grammar. Thank you and Enjoy ^_^**

* * *

 **Don't Cry Anymore**

I have always wonder what it was that I have forgotten. The memories of my life prior seven years now. Its painful that I had stopped trying, it's no use. But upon seeing the Buddha key chain strap hanging at my high school bag.

I saw a glimpse of him. Him? Who is he? Why does my heart hurts so much? There are so many question that I wanted to asked; yet still remained unanswered. Through confusion I retreated back to the dining room where Chika is.

* * *

The smell of coffee is enveloping my senses "Hey Chika..." I called him. He stopped what he was doing and look at me with a confuse look. "Huh?"

"I've been thinking..." I wanted answer but I am hesitating again. If I continue being like this I won't get anything at all. I clenched my hand and continued "Do you know about my hobbies in the past? What was I like? What about my friends? About someone I used to love?" I asked him without pausing. He gave me a glass of coffee and sat across the table.

"What's with you? Suddenly asking about those stuff.. Weren't you scared of remembering about your past?"Yes, I am because its painful and I had decided to live in exchange of my past yet I still can't help it _._ "Uhm... That's true, but... I have a feeling that I've forgotten something very important" As I said those words, Chika stiffen and look glumly towards me.

"Iroha..." He called my name, but before he can say anything else I cutted him. "Well, Just my hunch. It doesn't matter now..." I looked down at the glass I am holding and continued. "I' ve been hearing everything from you Chika... After such a long time, for me to try to remember everything, It's a bit..." I cutted myself. Why couldn't I help myself? Thinking of this I sighed and look up. "That was enough for me... Thinking about it will only tire me out. We should hurry and return to Los Angeles, Chika"

"Will you be okay?" I was surprised by his sudden question. "About me living together with you in Los Angeles I mean. Will you be okay about it Iroha?"

"My mind has a piece of you Chika. In the past and present, you accepted me for who I am, always staying by my side. You've been taking care of me during those seven years and even well before that, I understand it..." Yes as I say everything, I understand it. "You are an important person to me, Chika" I look at him. Huh? Why is it that you look sad?

"Iroha, Do you remember the time we returned here five years ago?" He asked. Of course I do. During those times that I can't remember you tried to help me retrieved my memories. And now that you have mentioned it I tried recalling what happen...

 _As we sat on the floor of my room silently. I continued to stare at the things that is scattered in front of us. "Though you only forgot about the two years just by seeing you room, seeing your belongings, seeing something in the past that you couldn't recall, made you uncomfortable. You felt uneasy." I can't bear this, I felt so helpless. And without thinking anymore: not my life, not my past and about nothing at all. "If that is the way it goes, then let's go back to Los Angeles" You looked surprised with what I said. But you reverted back and told me that there is still one last place that we have to visit. Last place? What is it. I'm tired yet I want to continue. "Follow me." You said and so I did. In searched for my memories. So I did._

" _A University? Why did we come here?" I asked in confusion. What is it that We are here for. "Hey Chika! I''m talking to you" Instead of getting an answer from you. I saw you staring at the distance._

" _Iro-" Chika stopped what he was supposed to say. "Iroha!" With your sudden exclamation. "What?" I asked. "Look, that dude..."_

 _As I look at him, I felt a familiar feeling bubbling in my chest. My heart thumps rapidly as he got closer, I barely hear what Chika is saying. This feeling what is this? I don't know what it is, but..._

" _He is..." My thought where come to closed as the guy walked past me, my heart stings suddenly. Chika too is suprise. What does that guy have to do with me? "Anything wrong? Chika?" But he was still looking at where the guy once walked past us. "'That dude?' The person you mentioned? What do I have to do? And what did we come here for?" You didn't answer my questions. "Come now Iroha, We should head home." I didn't asked anymore and We went home after that we headed to Los Angeles._

I was stopped with what I was thinking when Chika spoke "It's been five years huh? The way you look back at it, When you told me that you wanted to go back to Los Angeles and the way you look at your present now, it's the same Iroha" I don't know what to say because you are right. But the difference now is that I am facing everything. I'm not running away from the pain. Seven years has been a long time but before that the eighteen years of my life, I wanted to recall all of it, if not at the very least I wanted to know those important memories that I lost.

"Iroha... The time you before you lost your memories" You stop for a bit and look at me. "You were selfish"

"EH! But didn't you said that I was a good girl afterward?" I suddenly cut him off. He looked at me like I am crazy. He sighed "I was just saying it in order Iroha! It's true that you weren't completely selfish back then. Well, the doctor said that amnesia people will become depressed if they find out they were not good in the past so..." I am starting to get annoyed "You..." I contained myself "J-just I was thinking... I was really a despicable person" I am thinking at what I had said.

"However, you were a straight forward girl, who hated liars. Even if it meant you couldn't get along well with everyone. You were always the same, that is the way you are and that is why I like you Iroha" I always knew that Chika had liked me but to me he is just a brother even though we are not blood related. He is an important person to me. "Still... there was someone who understood Iroha the most... and that person was not me..." I was speechless with what he said. Chika and I has always been together ever since the time I wake without my memories. I look at him and saw how sad he is.

I know how sad he is but I couldn't help myself because the person that he was taking about, is an important part of life. Even if I said that I am scared to know more about my past I still wanted. My heart just desired and long for that person but I don't know why. "Then who is that person? Why couldn't I remember that person?!" Why am I shouting? I feel water in my arms. I wiped my face. "Tears..." Saying that I couldn't contain and covered my face as I continued to cry.

"Iroha, fix yourself and let's go" Chika said then stood up. "What for?" I half-shouted before he can get out. He looked back at me and smiled sadly. "Just do what I say"

* * *

I did what Chika said. And followed him here. I don't know what we are here for.

"Chika, why did you brought me here?" He look at me "To meet someone..." He trailed off as a man walked out of the building, the man look familiar and it hit me. He's the same man that we saw at the University that Chika brought me. But now instead of wearing pants and sweater; he's wearing a blazer over his business suit and He's hair that was once disheveled is now kept tidy at the side. The only thing that remain the same is he's serious face expression. "Wait here for a bit"Chika said and walk to where the man could see him and stand with distance in front of the said man.

"It's been a while" the man looked shock upon seeing Chika. So, he did know him. "S-since high school time... A long time in deed." The man replied. High school? They've known each other that long. But what does it have to do with me.

"No, not quite. I visited you once at your University" The man looked surprised with what Chika said. "Nah.. shall I say ''We'' visited you" As Chika said that the man looked even more surprised than what he's previous expression had just shown. As he looked past Chika, I've known he has seen me and as he look at me he's eyes went wide and He walked past Chika heading to me he's arms stretched forward reaching.

Seeing him stoned me to where I am standing. The same that happened that time. My heart is beating rapidly again. And it races more as he has now hug me. He buried he's face at the side of my neck. "I was really happy. You are alive. You really are still alive" He hug me tighter. I hold onto his chest I feel his heart is beating furiously like mine and looked at him in the eyes. As I looked deeper at he's eyes, I saw longing.

"Uh..." I don't know what to say all that I could think of is that I'm happy "Thank you for worrying about me." I saw tears falling from his eyes. "I'm so sorry, I don't remember anything..." I look at my feet while saying these, even though it hurts so much, I can't deny the truth. "About myself and about you... I'm really sorry" He look at me with wide eyes before returning back to normal. "I understand" Said he, even though he barely said it I completely hear it.

"But, Thank you, I... Since I can't remember about my past, I was really worried. So, knowing that someone who's glad to see me alive, I'm relieved" He looked at me and wiped his tears. "There is nothing you have to worry about honey. It's gonna be okay, you were a kind and wonderful girl. That's why... you should have more faith in yourself" Ahh.. I get it now the one that Chika had mentioned. The one that who understand me the most; is this person.

"Thank you" Is all I can say because hearing him say that have me at ease. "Uhm.. I will return to Los Angeles. If possible could you tell me your name?" Saying I will leave hurts me and seeing his sad face hurts more. So at least I wanted to know your name again. The name I knew I once always say with smile on my face. And the name of the person who is also an important part of life.

He looked back at Chika "I am only an old friend" huh? Why do you say that? Are you really an old friend? Please tell me the truth. Because I can see you and your expression is telling me otherwise. My heart is telling me that it is not true. "I was... a friend from the same grade as you" Again? Why? "May you be healthy and well upon returning there" He smiled softly at me hiding the sadness yet I can see it clearly. "That's all" He said and started to walk passed me. Wait! Wait! I please don't leave. "Wait!" I finally said it but the thing hanging in his bag caught my eye. Its the same. Why do we have the same one? I hold his hand and stop him "Wait just a minute" He stop and look at me.

"Why do I.. have the same strap as yours" I showed him the Buddha strap and he look surprised but quickly hide it. "Well who knows, It could be a common decoration then" Common decoration? This type? No its not possible. "Liar! There is no way such a thing could be common!" No one would take this as common decoration. "I'm pretty sure you know something about this!" I can't stop this anymore, What is this? Who is that person? Is he and that person really are the same? "I... when I look at it, I feel so much pain" I started crying. This stupid tears won't stop. "Why do I have that feeling. Please could you tell me?" Please I wanted to know, I am scared to learn about my past but knowing that somehow you were part of it makes me at ease just please let me know.

You looked at me face to face "Igarashi Iroha" Eh.. This feeling. This sensation. "I never did call you by your full name like that" Yeah, you never did. I don't know how I know that but I just felt it. "When you went through a hard time I couldn't do anything for you" It's fine though, because my heart is telling me you did more than enough. Those things that you did that I couldn't remember, I knew that those are the most important memories of my past. I continued to cry because... this feeling of familiarity to the way you are is still the same. "I don't deserved to be remembered by you, but in my twenty-five years of living, you are the only girl... that I honestly love" The two of us were crying. Tears are flooding our face. "There was not a moment that I could ever forget about you"

As you finished what you were saying. I couldn't help but cry and feel joy because slowly; I saw glimpse of my memories. The first time we met, the times you helped me, the six months that we became a couple, creating happy memories, abiding to my selfish wishes. Those are the memories I treasured. I'm happy that you were part of it.

But seeing you crying right now. I realized that there were many times that you cried because of me. And even to my selfish wish to make you promised to forget about me. I finally remember my memories with you. But at that time I couldn't wipe your tears, so please right now let me wipe those tears. I couldn't hold it anymore my tears won't stop either but seeing you like this hurts. So please, please, even with this selfish request of mine I hold the side of his face and finally said.

"Don't cry..." because I've made you cry enough. Because I am selfish that I don't want to see you hurting. "Don't cry anymore..." because-

"...Tsutsun" Because you are the person that I love the most. Because you are Tsutsui Hikari.


End file.
